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MarketDecember 16, 2019 Production5 More Minutes Productions
A subversive superhero story about the world’s only superhero living a bachelor lifestyle, learning he has twovery different teenage twins he never knew existed, and now has to figure out how to be a father.
Middle school, football field, Football Stadium, Anime Convention, sound stage, Mansion, Apartment, bank, laboratory,
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LAYTON (adult) saves a young girl dangling from a crane. Later that evening, Layton rejects SCARLETT’s (20) pitch about prosthetic supplies for children. Layton spends the night with a tourist, RACHEL (adult). There is a time jump to twelve years later. Layton announces through an interview that he is the next Bachelor on the ABC network. Later that day, SHIRLEY (65) arrives at Layton’s house to present his twin children to him. WILL (12) and ANNA (12) are initially defensive and closed off towards Layton. That night, Layton gets a call about a robbery at the bank. Left with no choice, Layton brings the children to the bank while he uses his powers to stop the robbery. The next day, Will and Anna go to their new school. There, Will develops a crush on REN and Anna signs up for tryouts for the football team. Anna makes the team. In hopes to bond with Anna, Layton attempts to help Anna with football but ends up only showing off to the female spectators nearby. Layton washes Anna’s special jersey that was her mother’s and Anna lashes out at Layton. Later, Layton attends Anna's practice where he meets STACEY (30s). At practice,...
Superhero and famous bachelor, Layton is faced with an incredible challenge to morph from being this massive media presence to a father to his two twin children. The premise is strategically developed to illustrate Layton’s change in values to become a better father and overall caring person. The characters are well developed, in which the protagonist’s five-character beats are well established and demonstrated throughout the narrative. The internal and external conflicts escalate beautifully toward the climax. The dialogue could be improved to contain more subtext and underlying motives from the characters. The tone is established from the opening scene and maintained throughout the remainder of the narrative....
Layton Wade is the charming superhero of anyone’s dreams, and despite his internal doubts over his own worth, he keeps busy maintaining his reputation as a crime fighter and general do-gooder. When twins Anna and Will show up on Layton’s doorstep claiming to be his kids, however, Layton must address his own insecurities as a personal failure in order to become the dad they both need him to be. The premise of a superhero having to go outside his comfort zone to raise two kids is unique and engaging, and Layton himself is definitely ill-suited to accept two pre-teens into his home. While the internal conflict is thought out and endearing, the external conflict Layton faces—a vaguely evil inventor who must steal a fictional substance for her exoskeleton intended to help those with physical impairments—is unoriginal and underdeveloped, and implies a harmful message about someone whose ultimate goal is to create a tool that helps those with physical disabilities. Improving the external conflict and filling in a couple crucial plot holes would allow “Super Dad” to do justice to its delightful premise....
A superhero playboy wakes up to find he has to care for his two preteen kids that he never even knew existed. The premise is engaging, comical, and makes for an entertaining family/action narrative pitch. The theme of family is what drives the narrative, and there are a plethora of meaningful comedic and thoughtful interactions between Layton and the twins. The main three characters are all well developed and have uniquely distinguishable voices. That being said, dialogue can be one the nose at times and rarely provides subtext. The structure and pacing are both smooth and each scene serves to either develop family members' relationships or build the foreboding sense of atmosphere created by scenes full of dramatic irony. There are, however, issues with tone regarding how appropriate some elements of the narrative are considering this is a family film. There are also some issues in logic regarding characters’ choices that don’t follow their character growth. Nevertheless, with these issues addressed in another draft, “Super Dad” could be ready for development....